At least this isn't Deviantart. But I digress, I'm still a hipster douchebag with a blog.

Well fuck to the yeah. I have a background of bismuth, possibly the best heavy metal out there, besides maybe Avenged Sevenfold, and I'm ready to blog like the bastard offspring of Natalie Munroe and Tom Guelly. Shit, saying that might get me sued for libel. I could lose my job. Oh wait, I'm an unemployed parasite to society that pretty much takes my parents money and spends it on stupid shit like World of Warcraft and Ecstasy. But I'm a white self-entitled half-republican so it's okay. I'm gonna start a new paragraph here because bloggers with lots of paragraphs are boss nigguh. Which is a great movie, by the way. Not Black Dynamite, but still pretty good if you like western movies (which are a secret love fetish of mine)

So yeah, I'm making this blog because I'm bored as fuck and I like to bitch and scream at walls. And because I wish I was Josh Brems. However, the difference between Josh and I is that he actually has shit to say, even though he stopped making those cool Mind of Brems videos with jump cuts and ukuleles. Which were rad awesome, bra. Though I'll probably update it sometimes, maybe, in the hopes that writing stuff nobody cares about will eventually make me an internet celebrity/Vladimir Putin. I fucking love Bad Vlad. Props on killing people who criticize you bro. I'm mad jelly.

Oh sup, new paragraph, new topic. I guess I'll write about shit people reading this probably know already. My name rhythms with a river that runs through London. I'm as pale as Snow White, but unfortunately being pale is not hot anymore and I am FOREVER ALONE. I'm also 18, which makes me an adult and I can go out and buy a gun, but I have no job so I can't and my mom would probably yell at me lol. But fuck a duck, I am not old enough to poison myself with alcohol. In addition I am 1.76m tall and skinnier than you, fatty. And I like to spend my time staring at an array of pixels wishing I had something to do. I also have perfect vision, like JC Denton, but I don't wear sunglasses during a night operation, as my vision is not augmented.

And because my life is too boring to have something to write about right now, I'm going to go play Battlefield BC2 and let these bytes of data virtually rot in some server somewhere.